“Jiang Xu, are you tearing the place apart?”
A familiar shout came from the doorway. Shen Fangyu, holding his laptop in one hand, knocked on the bathroom door with the other. “What’s going on?”
Jiang Xu’s eyelashes trembled, but he didn’t reply.
“Something’s off with you today.” Shen Fangyu glanced at the tightly shut bathroom door.
On a normal day, Jiang Xu would definitely snap back with a “you’re the one wrecking the place,” but today he said nothing at all. Shen Fangyu suddenly felt a little panicked.
“Not talking, huh? Fine.” He pushed against the locked door and said to the person inside, “I’ll give you two choices: either you open this door yourself, or I kick it open. Just so happens I’m seeing the locksmith tomorrow, I’ll have him fix it all at once.”
“Shut up.”
Jiang Xu’s voice came through the door, low and muffled. There was a faint, involuntary tremor in it that betrayed his attempt at sounding tough.
Shen Fangyu’s expression changed.
He tapped his headset, switched on the mic, and told the students in his ongoing group meeting, “Sorry, something personal just came up. The two of you who haven’t presented yet, send me your PPT by email, I’ll set up another time with you later.”
After exiting the meeting, he set down his laptop, rolled up his sleeves, and went straight to the bathroom door. One hard kick, crack, the lock snapped, and the door swung open like a kite with its string cut.
Shen Fangyu looked in, face filled with anxiety.
Shards of broken glass littered the sink and the floor. The air still held a haze of lingering steam. Jiang Xu stood before the shattered mirror, bare from the waist up.
His freshly washed hair clung with droplets of water, looking even darker than usual. His skin, pale and cool-toned, was wrapped in mist, faint blue veins almost visible beneath it.
Broad shoulders, narrow waist, a well-proportioned figure, and at the center of his chest, a striking cinnabar mole. Lower down… the faint outline of a swelling abdomen.
It shouldn’t have been there. Not on Jiang Xu. And yet now that it had, it somehow looked strangely, unexplainably, harmonious. A sight that stirred a restless, unbidden heat in one’s heart.
Shen Fangyu suddenly averted his gaze, forcing his eyes to the floor. He reached for a bath towel nearby and draped it over Jiang Xu.
Jiang Xu shot him a glance, tossed the towel aside, swiftly pulled on a shirt, and brushed past him out of the bathroom, heading for the medicine box.
Only then did Shen Fangyu notice, there was blood on the floor.
“Are you out of your mind, Jiang Xu?” Shen Fangyu caught up, spotting the raw scrape on Jiang Xu’s hand. He yanked the medicine box out of his grip and pointed at the sofa. “Sit. Now.”
Jiang Xu gave him a cold, indifferent glance.
Seeing him unmoved, Shen Fangyu simply grabbed him by the shoulder and pushed him down onto the sofa. He shoved a cushion onto Jiang Xu’s lap and pulled his wrist over it.
Jiang Xu tried to pull away. Shen Fangyu locked his grip on the wrist and glared until Jiang Xu finally stilled, withdrawing his struggle. Only then did Shen Fangyu turn to the medicine box.
The supplies inside were comprehensive. Shen Fangyu quickly picked out the essentials and lined them up. He poured half a cup of 75% alcohol into a plastic cup, tossed in a pair of tweezers, then dug out povidone-iodine and some cotton swabs. He switched on a flashlight and handed it to Jiang Xu. “Hold it steady.”
This time Jiang Xu didn’t resist. He raised the flashlight, focusing the beam on the back of his injured hand.
The cut wasn’t deep, but blood still welled from it. A cotton swab soaked with iodine swept across the wound, exposing fine embedded shards. Jiang Xu hissed softly at the sting, and the sound only made Shen Fangyu’s anger flare hotter.
“Pretty clear-headed, aren’t you, Dr. Jiang?” Shen Fangyu’s tone dripped with bitter sarcasm. “Smart enough to use your left hand, and to grab the medicine box right after smashing the mirror.” He shot him a glance. “Since you know how important your hands are, why the hell would you smash a mirror with them?”
As he spoke, he retrieved the tweezers, sterilized them over a flame, waited until the alcohol burned off, and then bent down to pick out the tiny shards lodged in Jiang Xu’s skin.
Jiang Xu kept his lips pressed tight, eyes fixed on Shen Fangyu’s hands. The man had put on sterile gloves, worried about bacteria infecting the wound. When he touched him, the latex gave off a smooth, faintly slick sensation.
“Is it that serious? It’s just a 200-yuan fine. I’ll pay you back, okay?”
Shen Fangyu thought about it. The only thing today that could’ve upset Jiang Xu was that fine, but he really couldn’t understand how that could drive Jiang Xu to smash a mirror with his bare hands.
Did he really have that much influence on Jiang Xu now?
Jiang Xu himself knew he’d been impulsive, but once emotions surged, he hadn’t managed to keep a grip on his rationality.
In fact, even now, he hadn’t fully regained it. So instead of responding to Shen Fangyu, he suddenly asked, “When you found out I was pregnant, what was the first thing that went through your mind?”
Hearing that, Shen Fangyu, who had just been scolding him fiercely, froze.
He seemed to realize something. The righteous anger in his stance gradually melted away, and even the movements of his hands stilled ever so slightly.
The living room light cast a fine shadow beneath his peach-blossom eyes, his crow-feather lashes hiding the emotions in his gaze.
Jiang Xu stared at the hand held firmly in Shen Fangyu’s grip, clearly determined to get an answer, yet made no move to rush him.
Only after a long while did Shen Fangyu lower his voice and say, “Jiang Xu, forget those definitions you’ve memorized, those multiple-choice judgments you’ve written. Don’t think about how you’re supposed to diagnose yourself. In your cognition, if you believe you’re a man, then you are a man.”
“As for your pregnancy… I’ve thought about it a lot,” Shen Fangyu continued. “But I swear, not once, not even for a second, have I had a thought of looking down on you for it.”
Jiang Xu’s eyes snapped up at him, as if surprised that simply from seeing him smash a mirror and hearing one vague, half-formed question, Shen Fangyu could guess at his deepest turmoil with such accuracy.
“Jiang Xu, you know I’ve always held myself in high regard. I’ve never admired anyone in this life.” Shen Fangyu glanced at him. “To be honest, you’re the first.”
“On sleepless nights, I’ve thought about it countless times, if it were me in your position, what would I do?” He paused. “And in the end, I always came to the same conclusion: if I were the one pregnant, I probably would’ve jumped from the top of Jihua’s building by now.”
“Jiang Xu,” he added after a short silence, “you’re tougher than me. I can’t compare.”
A breeze from outside brushed against Jiang Xu’s cheek. Listening to Shen Fangyu’s words, a flicker of emotion passed through his eyes.
He had never imagined, after more than ten years of clashing head-to-head with Shen Fangyu, that one day he’d hear him admit, ‘I can’t compare to you.’
And for a moment, Jiang Xu couldn’t tell if this was Shen Fangyu’s usual smooth-tongued rhetoric, calculated comfort or the slip of genuine, unguarded truth.
But whether those words were real or not, Jiang Xu had to admit, they forcefully soothed the restless turmoil in his chest.
Shen Fangyu, unaware of Jiang Xu’s fleeting thoughts, went on, “This morning before work, I asked a friend to list my apartment for sale.”
“Apartment?” Jiang Xu didn’t understand such an abrupt change of subject.
Shen Fangyu made a sound of acknowledgment.
“Before, when I suggested you keep the baby, it was because I felt I bore a huge responsibility. I should take responsibility. But I didn’t have enough cash to pay for you to go abroad for surgery. So I thought, if you really couldn’t accept the child, then I’d take care of it myself. That way, at least I could face my own conscience.”
“Looking back, I was still being selfish.”
“I’ve never been a father before. Hell, I’ve never even been a boyfriend. So at times, I just couldn’t truly put myself in your place, couldn’t really think from your perspective. It’s only these past few days that I’ve realized, whether it’s carrying this baby or giving birth to it, both are far too difficult for you. Even if I take on raising the child, it can’t make up for what you’re going through.”
“Since the prenatal checkup, you haven’t answered me on whether you’ll give birth or not. And all this time, I’ve been thinking about what to do.” He lowered his eyes. “But today, I think I finally know your answer.”
He took a deep breath, and with a calm expression, continued picking the glass shards out of Jiang Xu’s skin as if nothing had happened.
“I listed the apartment at the lowest price. I also put one of my cars up for sale. Ideally, both should be sold within a week. I also applied for a visa to the U.S. If you’re willing to wait, I’ll go with you to see Kenn. If you can’t, you go first. The moment my visa is approved, I’ll fly over immediately.”
“Secondhand cars don’t sell well right now, might need to drop the price. But property prices in City A are relatively stable. I did the math, it should be enough. If not, I’ll figure out another way.” He looked straight at Jiang Xu and promised, “Doesn’t matter if it’s 200,000 or two million, as long as he agrees to do the surgery, I will get you the money.”
“But…”
He lowered his head slightly and said to Jiang Xu, “We’ve known each other for years. You know I don’t come from a rich family. I’ve only been working a few years, and that apartment is everything I’ve saved, it’s still mortgaged at the bank.”
“So I was hoping that even if you’re sick of me, you could let me crash here for a couple more months. Once I get approved for a single dorm at the hospital, I’ll move out. In the meantime, after your surgery, I can stay here to take care of you.”
“I was planning to tell you after the sale went through, but then you went and hurt yourself.” Shen Fangyu put down the tweezers, dipped a cotton ball in iodine, and gently dabbed it onto Jiang Xu’s wound. “The shards should all be out. The cut’s shallow, no stitches needed.”
He asked, “Does it still hurt?”
Jiang Xu looked at him, expression complex, and shook his head.
“Try moving it,” Shen Fangyu said. “Any numbness?”
Jiang Xu knew what he was asking. He had already tested it himself after smashing the mirror. “No damage to the tendons or nerves.”
Shen Fangyu nodded. “Lucky for you the mirror in your house was crap.” He tossed the used cotton ball away, lifted Jiang Xu’s hand, and examined it carefully. “These hands are half the golden signboard of our entire department. Don’t go smashing your own rice bowl.”
He picked up a roll of clean white gauze and loosely wrapped it around Jiang Xu’s hand, layer by layer, finally tying a neat knot. Then he patted lightly on Jiang Xu’s pinky finger.
“All right. Done.”
He stood up, went to the bathroom, and picked up the hair dryer to test it. Compared to the mirror, Jiang Xu’s hair dryer was much sturdier, though it had been thrown to the ground, it was still buzzing with life.
Carrying the dryer to the living room, Shen Fangyu plugged it in, then stood behind Jiang Xu to blow his hair dry.
His half-damp hair had already cooled a little from sitting wet for so long. Now, the warm air fell onto the back of Jiang Xu’s neck, bringing a faint ticklish numbness. Sometimes the wind brushed against his forehead, and Jiang Xu closed his eyes. The gentle, enveloping heat drove away the chill at his crown, like basking in winter sunlight on a lazy afternoon.
Shen Fangyu reached out, parting the damp strands, his fingers combing through Jiang Xu’s hair as he moved. Jiang Xu suddenly shifted.
“Don’t move.” Shen Fangyu pressed a hand on his shoulder. “You’ll burn yourself.”
“…Mm.”
“Feels good?”
“It’s fine.”
“Really?” Shen Fangyu chuckled. “This is my first time blow-drying someone’s hair. Didn’t expect I’d have this kind of talent. What do you think, should I open a beauty salon after I retire?”
“No.”
“Why not? Sounds like you’re admitting my skills aren’t bad.” Amid the noisy hum of the dryer, Shen Fangyu sounded quite indignant. “I’ve even thought of a name, ‘Hell Hair Studio.’”
Jiang Xu: “…”
“You know the owner of Hell Bar got arrested, right?” Jiang Xu asked.
“Never heard,” Shen Fangyu replied. “Perfect, I’ll carry on his unfinished ‘Hell’ enterprise, expand into a whole industrial chain or something.”
Jiang Xu nodded. “And you’ll charge ghost money as payment?”
“Jiang Xu, can you not?” Shen Fangyu shut off the dryer and glanced at Jiang Xu’s now-fluffy hair. “All right, go to bed early.”
He tossed the dryer onto the coffee table, leaned back, and yawned.
Jiang Xu suddenly looked at him. Mid-yawn, Shen Fangyu froze under that gaze. “What are you staring at me for?”
He leaned closer to Jiang Xu with a teasing smile. “What, suddenly realize I’m handsome?”
Jiang Xu gave a short scoff. He pointed at the medicine box on the coffee table. “Clean that up first.”
“Why do you sound exactly like my mom?” Shen Fangyu muttered as he walked over, grumbling while packing away the supplies that covered the table. He carefully sorted them back into the medicine box and returned it to its spot. “Your bedroom’s a mess too, but I’ve never seen you bother tidying it.”
Jiang Xu didn’t respond. He watched Shen Fangyu for a moment before suddenly saying, “I don’t agree to you selling your apartment.”