After finishing his shower and coming out of the bathroom, Jiang Xu saw Tang Ke leaning against the balcony with his arms crossed, looking like he was about to interrogate him.
Jiang Xu walked past him, tossed his clothes into the washing machine, and heard Tang Ke say quietly, “Shen Fangyu even called me.”
Jiang Xu’s hand paused on the power button. After a moment, he closed the lid of the washing machine, adjusted the water level and settings, and pressed start. Soon the sound of water began filling the machine.
He turned to Tang Ke and said, “He thinks I want to abort the baby just so I can curry favor with the hospital director.”
He sat down on the sofa and took a sip of hot water. “For all these years, even when I doubted his medical skills, I never doubted his character,” he lowered his eyes, his voice very soft. “But that’s what he thinks of me.”
Tang Ke sat down beside him and patted his shoulder. “Maybe you misunderstood.”
“Now you’re speaking for him too?” Jiang Xu asked.
“No,” Tang Ke said. “I just think it’s a bit strange.” His expression was hesitant. “The Jiang Xu I know wouldn’t storm out of the house in the middle of the night just because a colleague he’s been at odds with for over ten years said something like that.”
He paused, then asked carefully, “Are you really only angry about that one sentence?”
When Jiang Xu didn’t respond, he continued, “Or… are you using it as an excuse for something else?”
“You’re overthinking it,” Jiang Xu cut him off.
Tang Ke stopped talking. After a moment of silence, Jiang Xu placed the cup on the coffee table.
“I’m going to sleep. I still have surgery tomorrow.”
The door closed. The vibration caused faint ripples to spread across the surface of the water in the cup, circles forming, expanding outward, then gradually fading away. Tang Ke looked at Jiang Xu’s back with a complicated expression.
Between friends, saying something hurtful in the heat of the moment usually wasn’t unforgivable. And when sworn rivals argued, sharp words were understandable. Tang Ke didn’t believe that in all the years Jiang Xu and Shen Fangyu had bickered and quarreled, there hadn’t been harsher words than this.
But there was one exception. If the person speaking was someone you cared about, hurtful words could become impossible to forgive. Tang Ke didn’t dare continue guessing. He felt he might just be overly sensitive. Jiang Xu himself probably had never even thought about it that way. Maybe he was simply worrying too much and imagining things.
After adjusting his mood, he dialed Shen Fangyu’s number again. It seemed the latter had been waiting, because the call was answered almost immediately. “Can I come over?”
Tang Ke walked onto the balcony, closed the glass door behind him, and lowered his voice. “Have you figured out what you’re going to say?”
Shen Fangyu clearly didn’t have an answer.
“If you haven’t figured it out, what’s the point of coming?” Tang Ke said. “He’s asleep. Pregnant people shouldn’t stay up late all the time. When he’s on night shifts at the hospital there’s nothing he can do about it, but tonight just let him rest.”
“…Alright.”
Hearing the obvious disappointment in Shen Fangyu’s voice, Tang Ke reached out and touched the curtain, then sighed. “Shen Fangyu, because you and Jiang Xu have always been at odds, I’ve honestly found you pretty annoying. But today, for Jiang Xu’s sake, I’ll say a few more words to you.”
“About a year or two ago, a resident trainee from a lower department mentioned to Jiang Xu that he wanted to move to a private hospital. You know what Jiang Xu is like, strict with his students, but if he can help them, he will. Even though he was busy as hell at the time, he still found time to bring that student out to dinner with me so he could learn from my experience.”
“But during the meal, the student probably wanted to flatter him, so he deliberately said in front of Jiang Xu that your skills actually weren’t that good. That the only reason you could stand on equal footing with him was because you were good at currying favor with teachers and flattering your superiors. Maybe you’d even sent a lot of expensive gifts.”
“Jiang Xu’s face immediately went cold. He criticized the student without leaving any room for mercy, saying he was trying to sow discord and that his intentions were improper. The student broke out in a cold sweat. I doubt he expected that while he was trying to suck up, Jiang Xu, despite having such a bad relationship with you, would actually speak up for you.”
“Do you know what Jiang Xu said about you?” Tang Ke continued.
“He said you’re not that kind of person. He said everything you’ve achieved today comes entirely from your own ability.”
“Jiang Xu isn’t as socially smooth as you are, so the way he sees people is sincere and straightforward. You, on the other hand, are too accustomed to navigating social relationships, you look at people through a filter, thinking you’ve already seen through everything.”
“He does dislike you. But even when he disliked you that much, he always separated personal feelings from professional judgment. He never once doubted your character.”
Shen Fangyu was silent for a long time before finally saying, “I’m not doubting his character.”
He looked at the cold moon outside the window, lying on the mattress laid out on the floor. After Jiang Xu had added an extra layer of bedding for him, the makeshift bed had become noticeably softer, but the bed beside it was empty.
Shen Fangyu knew he shouldn’t have said that spiteful remark, spoken recklessly in a surge of possessiveness. It had just been too sudden. If he had been given a moment to collect himself, he could have suppressed his selfishness and spoken calmly with Jiang Xu, perhaps even faced any decision Jiang Xu made more openly, including terminating the pregnancy.
If he had been given a little more time, he might even have calmly accepted returning to their old relationship, mere acquaintances who competed with each other, instead of two fathers living together because of a child.
He knew that terminating the pregnancy was the correct choice. They should never have had this kind of relationship in the first place. That would be the best outcome for Jiang Xu. But everything had happened too suddenly. Shen Fangyu hadn’t had time to hide his selfishness or think rationally.
Now Jiang Xu could discard this child, and him, at any time. If this had happened a few months ago, when Jiang Xu had just discovered the pregnancy, it might have been a result that satisfied everyone. But now, Shen Fangyu didn’t feel happy about it at all.
With something close to pain, Shen Fangyu realized that he didn’t want Jiang Xu to leave him and go on to marry and start a family. What he wanted was not just for the child to stay. What he wanted most was for Jiang Xu to stay.
Just like in the past ten years or so, when they had been each other’s only rival, no one else could step in, and no one else could interfere with their competition. Even though he couldn’t understand why he felt such strong possessiveness toward Jiang Xu.
Shen Fangyu had never really suspected Jiang Xu of trying to curry favor with the hospital director. It was simply that his possessiveness had flared up, mixed with insecurity and fear of loss, making him speak recklessly. That kind of speculation might sound unpleasant, but it was the easiest way to test the waters.
Otherwise, was he supposed to ask Jiang Xu: Do you want to get rid of me?
He hadn’t expected Jiang Xu to become so angry. “Tell him I was wrong. I’m sorry,” Shen Fangyu slowly let out a breath. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I shouldn’t have drunk either.”
Once, getting drunk had led to the child and angered Jiang Xu. This time, getting drunk again had made him speak recklessly and anger Jiang Xu once more.
“Tell him not to take it to heart,” Shen Fangyu said, looking at the lonely pink rabbit on Jiang Xu’s bed before closing his eyes. “Okay?”
The next morning, after hearing Tang Ke relay Shen Fangyu’s apology, Jiang Xu couldn’t help twitching the corner of his mouth. “Next time you can just record it. You don’t have to reenact it so vividly.”
“I just thought it was rare,” Tang Ke said. “That’s Shen Fangyu we’re talking about. I’ve known him for years, and I’ve never heard him speak so humbly.” As he spoke, he added regretfully, “I should’ve recorded it and played it for our old classmates. They’d have their minds blown.”
Tang Ke couldn’t help asking, “Jiang Xu, what kind of spell did you cast on him?”
Jiang Xu lifted his eyelids slightly, unsure how to answer. He himself was surprised that Shen Fangyu had said so much to apologize. Fortunately, Tang Ke was only making a casual remark and didn’t insist on hearing an explanation. Jiang Xu quietly felt relieved.
After washing up, he habitually sat down at the dining table. Only when he sat did he realize it wasn’t the table in his own home. The surface was empty, and there was no breakfast that Shen Fangyu had bought. Jiang Xu had never had good eating habits.
In the past, he often skipped breakfast, sometimes he simply had no appetite and didn’t bother eating. It was only after Shen Fangyu moved into his place that he had been forced to eat breakfast every day. Strangely enough, although it had only been a few days, Jiang Xu had already developed a new habit.
After hesitating for a moment, he asked Tang Ke, “What do you usually eat for breakfast?”
“I eat at the hospital cafeteria,” Tang Ke replied, completely unaware of what Jiang Xu was thinking. “Let me tell you, our hospital cafeteria is great, way better than A Medical University’s.”
Jiang Xu, “……”
He picked up his briefcase and decided to return to his old routine. Last night he had been too angry, his emotions fluctuating wildly. Afraid he might get into an accident if he drove, he had taken a taxi. Now he hesitated between taking a taxi home to retrieve his car or simply taking a taxi straight to the hospital.
After a brief moment of consideration, he decisively chose the latter. Because of Shen Fangyu, he temporarily didn’t even want to see the neighborhood where his home was. Tang Ke’s place was a little far from Jihua Hospital. By the time Jiang Xu entered his office, many colleagues had already arrived, some making coffee, others eating breakfast.
That morning, Office No. 2 was unusually lively. Everyone was discussing Kenn’s astonishing article from the day before.
“Brother Xu,” Yu Sang greeted him when he arrived. “Did you read the article yesterday?”
Jiang Xu’s gaze swept briefly over Shen Fangyu’s seat. The two of them sat at opposite corners of the office, the farthest apart possible. From Jiang Xu’s angle, he could only see Shen Fangyu’s back. Even when Yu Sang called out to him, Shen Fangyu didn’t turn around.
“I did,” Jiang Xu said, sitting down at his desk. As he put down his briefcase, he noticed soy milk and steamed soup dumplings on the table. At a glance, he recognized the packaging, it was from the breakfast shop downstairs from his apartment.
“We’ve all been talking about it today,” Yu Sang continued chattering beside him. “I had no idea until I looked it up. Turns out men giving birth really is a thing. But the few cases that can be found are all overseas, and all the previous surgeries failed, until yesterday’s article succeeded.”
He added, “Why haven’t we ever encountered a case like that? Do you think it has something to do with racial genetics?”
Jiang Xu silently glanced at Yu Sang. It probably had nothing to do with racial genetics. Cases like this existed in China too. In fact, one such case was standing right in front of him.
He didn’t respond to Yu Sang’s question and instead asked, “Have you eaten breakfast?”
“Not yet. The cafeteria breakfast is terrible. I’ll just drink some coffee.” As expected of the student who had followed him the longest, Yu Sang had learned Jiang Xu’s bad habits perfectly. Jiang Xu picked up the soy milk and soup dumplings from his desk and placed them on Yu Sang’s table.
“Eat.”
“Wow!” Yu Sang said. “Dr. Jiang, you’re way too kind.” Without thinking much of it, he picked up the soy milk and took two big gulps. “What’s the occasion today? You actually brought me breakfast.”
Before Jiang Xu could respond, the office door was suddenly knocked on. The doctors who had been joking around all looked up, only to see Director Cui standing there.
“Good morning, Director.”
Everyone greeted her. Director Cui responded with a cheerful smile. “I just heard you all discussing that article from yesterday at the door. Good enthusiasm for learning!”
As one of the country’s top hospitals, Jihua Hospital always organized discussions whenever there were new cutting-edge research developments in the field. Even before formal departmental meetings, colleagues would often exchange ideas whenever they had time, especially with such an unheard-of case like this one, which had everyone very excited.
“Jiang Xu, Shen Fangyu,” Director Cui called out.
Both of them answered at the same time, “Here.”
Hearing Shen Fangyu’s voice overlap with his, Jiang Xu pressed his lips together.
“What is it, Director Cui?” Shen Fangyu asked.
“Have the two of you read Kenn’s article? And watched the surgical video?”
Shen Fangyu replied, “Yes.”
This time, to avoid speaking at the same moment as Shen Fangyu, Jiang Xu deliberately paused for a second before answering, “Yes.”
“Good,” Director Cui nodded with satisfaction. “Find some time to prepare. Tomorrow at four in the afternoon we’ll hold a departmental meeting to study this case. Each of you will present a report.”
After assigning the task, she hurried away as quickly as she had come.
Once the office quieted down, the lively chatter resumed. Zhong Lan sighed from the side. “It’s lucky it’s you two. Such a short time to prepare a report.” She added, “That article only came out around eight or nine last night. Did you both really watch the four-hour surgery video already?”
As expected of Jihua’s number one duo. “Just happened to see it,” Jiang Xu said.
Shen Fangyu glanced at him but didn’t mention that he had actually watched it more than once last night.
Wu Rui chuckled while sipping his goji berry tea. “For them, that’s a piece of cake.”
Yu Sang added sarcastically, “Not sure whether Dr. Shen can finish it, but knowing Brother Xu’s personality, he probably already prepared the report last night.”
Zhang Cheng had been close with Shen Fangyu since their student days. Hearing that, he said irritably, “Doing it early doesn’t mean doing it well. In the past, every time we had a new case presentation, Fangyu always did the best.”
“Oh, so if you say it’s good, it’s good?” Yu Sang shot back. “I think Brother Xu’s presentations are better.”
“That’s because your judgment is terrible.” Zhang Cheng was about to escalate further when Shen Fangyu shot him a glance. Zhang Cheng didn’t get the hint at all. Rolling up his sleeves, he looked ready to fight Yu Sang, who also refused to back down and even put down his soup dumplings as if preparing for battle.
Jiang Xu immediately reached out and dragged Yu Sang back into his seat, while Shen Fangyu stood up and pushed the heated Zhang Cheng behind him before walking straight over to Jiang Xu.
“What are you doing? Want to fight?” Yu Sang said, noticing Shen Fangyu staring straight at the soup dumplings in his hand. He quickly shielded Jiang Xu, who clearly didn’t need protection.
“Come here. I need to talk to you,” Shen Fangyu said.
Jiang Xu glanced at him coolly, brushed Yu Sang aside, and walked out of the office with Shen Fangyu. Behind them, Yu Sang shouted encouragement, “Brother Xu, go beat him up!”
“Can you act a little more like a doctor? Don’t ruin Jihua’s reputation,” Zhang Cheng rolled his eyes at him before shouting toward the door, “Shen Fangyu, if you can’t beat Jiang Xu, you’re not a man!”
Jiang Xu and Shen Fangyu, “……”
With complicated expressions, they closed the door behind them.
“Why didn’t you eat breakfast?” Shen Fangyu asked.
“I already ate.”
Shen Fangyu looked at him with a clear I don’t believe you expression. “If you were somewhere else, I couldn’t do anything about it. But we’re in the hospital now. Come with me to Xiao Ting and have your blood sugar checked. If you really did eat, I won’t say another word.”
“Not going.”
“Are you going or not?”
“No.”
“That stomach problem of yours is because you skip breakfast. You can be angry at me, but don’t punish your own body, okay?”
Shen Fangyu grabbed Jiang Xu’s wrist. Jiang Xu immediately caught his fingers in return. The thin lenses of his glasses reflected a sharp gleam.
“Is it any of your business?”
“I’m going to manage you. So what?”
“Manage yourself.”
At that moment, Jiang Xu seriously suspected that the Shen Fangyu from last night had been fake, or that Tang Ke had exaggerated the story when retelling it. He knew Shen Fangyu would always act this irritating way. There was no way he would ever humble himself in front of him.
“Dr. Shen, focus on preparing your report,” Jiang Xu said. “What I eat and what I do is none of your concern.”
The clock’s hour hand crept closer to eight. Students waiting for the morning ward rounds gradually gathered in the hallway outside the office. Jiang Xu glared at Shen Fangyu, shook off his hand, and turned back toward the office.
Yu Sang immediately grabbed Jiang Xu’s wrist. “Who won the argument?”
Jiang Xu picked up a folder and a pen and walked out without looking back. Yu Sang followed him in confusion. Zhang Cheng, standing nearby, said gleefully, “Then it must be–”
Before he could finish, the pen in his chest pocket was suddenly pulled out. “Shen Fangyu!” he shouted angrily at the culprit’s back. “You already won the argument and you’re still stealing my pen?”
Without turning around, Shen Fangyu waved a hand. “I lost.”
Zhang Cheng clutched the pocket on his chest, comforting the only pen he had left. Hearing that made him even more aggrieved. “If you lost, then go take Jiang Xu’s pen! Why steal mine?”
The two associate chief physicians leading the ward rounds once again walked past each other in the hallway without making eye contact.
After the rounds, Jiang Xu was preparing to gather his things and head to the operating room when Shen Fangyu stopped him again. Jiang Xu frowned and looked up, then suddenly felt a bottle of glucose pressed into his palm.
“If you don’t drink this, you’re not entering the operating room today.”
“Shen Fangyu, are you a bully?” Jiang Xu asked.
Shen Fangyu didn’t answer, but he didn’t move aside either. He simply blocked Jiang Xu’s path, standing there stubbornly like a smiling tiger guarding the door. Jiang Xu couldn’t be bothered to argue with him. He quickly twisted open the bottle cap and gulped down the glucose in a few big swallows. His gaze, passing through his glasses, landed on Shen Fangyu’s face.
For some reason, Shen Fangyu suddenly remembered the night they drank at Hell Bar. That night Jiang Xu had looked at him with the same expression. Only the lighting had been dim then, so he hadn’t noticed the small mole beneath Jiang Xu’s eye.
Something suddenly weighed down in his palm. Shen Fangyu snapped back to reality. Jiang Xu had shoved the empty glass bottle into his hand. “Can you get lost now?”
Shen Fangyu stepped aside. Jiang Xu brushed past him. Just as they were about to pass each other, Shen Fangyu suddenly called out, “Jiang Xu.”
Jiang Xu turned back impatiently. Shen Fangyu tilted his head slightly and slipped something into Jiang Xu’s coat pocket. Then, with his hands casually in his own pockets and his expression deliberately neutral, he walked away. Jiang Xu pulled the item from his pocket. His eyes suddenly froze.
It was a handwritten letter… or rather, a self-criticism.
“Holy shit–HAHAHAHA!” Tang Ke burst out laughing while holding Shen Fangyu’s self-criticism letter, almost unable to breathe from laughing so hard. “What did I do to deserve witnessing Shen Fangyu writing a self-criticism in my lifetime?”
He picked up the official letter paper with exaggerated seriousness.
“Self-Criticism, I, Shen Fangyu, last night, while drunk, said things that made Jiang Xu angry. I hereby write this self-criticism…”
Tang Ke had just finished reading the first line when the thick stack of papers was snatched away by Jiang Xu. The red-and-white official stationery bore the letterhead of Jihua Hospital Affiliated with A Medical University. Shen Fangyu had written unusually neatly this time, none of the typical doctor’s messy handwriting. The pages were filled from top to bottom, five full pages, and at the end he had even attached a surgical plan.
“Jiang Xu,” Tang Ke said, “if you take a picture of this letter and post it on your social media, the rivalry between you two for all these years will finally have a winner.” He sounded both shocked and amused. “I seriously doubt Shen Fangyu has ever written a self-criticism in his entire life.”
“Do you have an envelope?”
“Yes, yes.” Tang Ke handed him one.
Jiang Xu neatly folded the five pages back together, slipped them into the envelope, and put it in his briefcase. Then he took out the surgical plan attached at the back.
Before their argument last night, Shen Fangyu had originally said he would finish drafting the surgical plan tonight and discuss it together with him. But both the self-criticism letter and the surgical plan had been handed to him this morning. Jiang Xu guessed Shen Fangyu probably hadn’t slept much last night.
What was the point of all this?
“Hey,” Tang Ke said, tapping the surgical plan lightly. “Shen Fangyu already wrote you a self-criticism. Stop fighting with him over this. It was just one angry remark. And besides, you’re the one who’ll need him to perform the surgery.”
Jiang Xu lowered his eyes.
“What kind of reaction is that?” Tang Ke froze. “Jiang Xu… you’re not… changing your mind, are you?”
He knew Jiang Xu well. If Jiang Xu truly didn’t want this child, he would have eagerly discussed the surgical plan with Shen Fangyu yesterday.
Tang Ke recalled Jiang Xu’s tone during their phone call last night. At the time he had assumed Jiang Xu didn’t seem very excited because of his naturally cold personality, or because he was so shocked and happy that he simply didn’t show it outwardly.
But now it seemed…
“It’s only been a little over a month, Jiang Xu,” Tang Ke said. He still remembered how, just over a month ago when Jiang Xu first discovered the pregnancy, he had anxiously asked about the journal’s progress over and over again.
“What do you mean now? Are you going to keep the baby?” Tang Ke asked. “Do you understand what that means for you?”
Jiang Xu paused briefly. “I know.”
Tang Ke looked at him with concern. “Did something happen? You’ve always been decisive when you do things. You’re not the type to hesitate like this.”
“Tang Ke, give me some time,” Jiang Xu said, pressing his fingers against his brow. “I just need to confirm my thoughts.”